Monsters, Inc. Quotes

C'mon, fight that plaque! Fight that plaque! Scary monsters don't have plaque!

Waternoose: Finally. I shouldn't have trusted you. Because of you, I had to banish my top scarer. Randall: Ah, with this machine, we won't need scarers. Besides, Sullivan got what he deserved. Waternoose: Sullivan was twice the scarer you'll ever be!

If I don't see a door in my station in 5 seconds, I will personally put you through the shredder.

[discussing Mike's car] Mike: To drive it! You know, like on the street? With the honk-honk and the vroom-vroom, and the no walking involved? Sulley: Wah, wah, wah. Will you give it a rest, butterball? C'mon, you could use the exercise. Mike: I could use the exercise? Look at you. You have your own climate.

Hey, that looks like Randall. Randall's your monster. You think he's gonna come out of the closet and scare you? Look, it's empty. No monster in here. Okay, now there is. I'm not gonna scare you. I'm off duty.

Waternoose: Ah, James. Is this one yours? Sulley: Ah, actually that's my uh, cousin's sister's daughter, sir. Mike: Yeah, it's uh, "Bring an Obscure Relative to Work Day". Waternoose: Hmm, must have missed the memo.

[lights go out after Boo laughs] Sulley: What was that? Mike: I have no idea. But it would be a really good idea if it didn't do it again.

I am about to revolutionize the scaring industry, and when I do, even the great James P. Sullivan will be working for me. First, I need to know where the kid is, and you're gonna tell me.

Randall: Wazowski! Where is it, you little one-eyed cretin? Mike: Okay, first of all, it's "creetin". If you're gonna threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping me is gonna help you cheat your way to the top. Randall: You still think this is about that stupid scare record? Mike: Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that... And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here.

Sulley: Hey, Mike, this might sound crazy, but I don't think that kid's dangerous. Mike: Really? Well, in that case, let's keep it. I always wanted a pet that could kill me.

Mike: Can I borrow your odorant? Sulley: Yeah, I got, uh, Smelly Garbage or Old Dumpster. Mike: You got, uh, Low Tide? Sulley: No. Mike: How about Wet Dog? Sulley: Yep. Stink it up.

[in Hawaii] Why couldn't we have been banished here?

Mike: I think I have a plan here: using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild. Sulley: Spoons? Mike: That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot air balloon? Too expensive. Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse? Too Greek.

Oh, you should have seen the look on Waternoose's face when that wall went up. Woo-hoo! I hope we get a copy of that tape. Hey, you all right? Come on, we did it. We got Boo home. Sure, we put the company in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now, not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power... but hey, at least we had a few laughs, right?

Our city is counting on you to collect those screams. Without scream, we have no power. Yes, it's dangerous work, and that's why I need you to be at your best. I need scarers who are confident, tenacious, tough, intimidating. I need scarers like... like... James P. Sullivan.

There's nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you. Leave a door open, and one can walk right into this factory; right into the monster world.

Mike: What is that thing? What is that thing? Hey, hey, hey, that thing is moving. I don't like big, moving things that are moving towards me. Randall: Say hello to the Scream Extractor. Mike: Hello. Hey, where are you going? C'mon, we'll talk! We'll have a latte!

Waternoose: No, no, no, no, no. What was that? You're trying to scare the kid, not lull it to sleep. Bile: I was going for a snake-slash-ninja approach, with a little hissing. Waternoose: How many times must I tell you? It's all about presence. About how you enter the room.

Mike: I like everything about you. Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said? Celia: What did you say? Mike: I said... Sulley! [after seeing Sulley in the window] Celia: Sulley?!

You've been jealous of my good looks since the fourth grade, pal.

Yeti: Snow cone? Mike: Yuck. [after seeing it is yellow] Yeti: No, no, no, don't worry. It's lemon.

Roz: Hello, Wazowski. Fun evening planned for tonight? Mike: Well, as a matter of fact... Roz: Then I'm sure you filed your paperwork correctly, for once. Your stunned silence is very reassuring.

Sulley: See that, Mikey? Ted's walking to work. Mikey: Big deal! Guy takes five steps, and he's there.

Kitty.

Oh, that's great, blame it on the little guy. How original. He must've read the schedule wrong with his one eye.

Mike: All we have to do is get rid of that thing, so wait here while I get its cardkey. Sulley: But she can't stay here! This is the men's room. Mike: That is the weirdest thing you have ever said.

I'm trying to be honest, just hear me out. You and I are a team. Nothing is more important than our friendship.

Mike: Sulley, what are we doing? Sulley: We have to get Boo's door and find a station. Mike: What a plan. Simple, yet insane.

Mike: I'm telling you, Big Daddy. You're gonna be seeing this face on TV more often. Sulley: Yeah, like on "Monstropolis' Most Wanted"?

I am so romantic, sometimes I think I should just marry myself.

Sulley: Nice job, Mikey. You filled your quota on the first kid of the day. Mike: You know, only someone with great comedic timing could produce this much energy in one shot. Sulley: Uh-huh, and the fact that laughter has ten times the energy of scream had nothing to do with it.

Just think about a few names for a second: Bigfoot. Loch Ness. The Abominable Snowman. They all have one thing in common, pal: Banishment! We could be next!

One of these days I am really... gonna let you teach that guy a lesson.

None of this ever happened, gentlemen. And I don't want to see any paperwork on it.

[after seeing Boo holding his teddy bear] OK, that's it, no one touches Little Mikey.

Sulley, what about everything we ever worked for? Does that matter? Huh? What about Celia? I am never... never gonna see her again. Doesn't that matter? What about me? I'm your pal, I'm-I'm your best friend. Don't I matter?

Sulley, you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it. Now put that thing back where it came from or so help me... [trying to hide Boo but realizes everyone is staring] Oh, hey. We're rehearsing a - a scene for the upcoming company play called uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical.

You're the boss! You're the boss! You're the big, hairy boss!

Mike: Oh, by the way, thanks for hooking me up with those reservations. Sulley: No problem. They're under the name Googlie-Bear. Mike: Thanks, I... you know, that ain't very funny.

[talking to Boo and waving a stick while he's trying to get her through a door] Look at the stick. See the stick? Go get the stick. Go fetch.

Mike: You hear that? Sounds like fun in there. Well, see ya, kid. Send me a postcard. That's Mike Wazowski, care of 22 Mike Wazowski-You-Got-Your-Life-Back-Lane. Boo: Mowki Kowski. Mike: Very good. Now bon voyage. See ya.

[after Mike tells him to get in his car] No way, there's a scream shortage. We're walking.

Hey, did you lose weight, or a limb?

Randall: [appears suddenly] Wazowski! [Mike falls out of his chair] Randall: Well, what do you know? It scares little kids and little monsters. Mike: I wasn't scared, I have allergies.

[singing as he tries to convince everyone they're rehearsing a musical] Put that thing back where it came from or so help me... so help me, so help me and cut. We're still working on it, it's a work in progress but, hey, we need ushers.

You wanna go to the village? Okay, rule number one out here: Always... no, never go out in a blizzard.

I'm in the zone today, Sullivan. I'm gonna do some serious scaring, putting up some big numbers.

Sulley: Hey... may the best monster win. Randall: I plan to.

Kids these days. They just don't get scared like they used to.

Abominable. Can you believe that? Do I look abominable to you? Why can't they call me the Adorable Snowman, or the Agreeable Snowman, for crying out loud? I'm a nice guy.

Mike: Oh, Schmootsie-poo? Celia: Googlie Bear.

Mike: Good morning, Roz, my succulent little garden snail. And who will we be scaring today? Roz: Wazowski! You didn't file your paperwork last night. Mike: Oh, that darn paperwork! Wouldn't it be easier if it all just blew away?

[Mike's face was covered with a logo during commercial] Mike: I can't believe it... Sulley: Oh, Mike... Mike: I was on TV. Ha. Did you see me? I'm a natural.

Milking a yak ain't exactly a picnic; but once you pick the hairs out, it's very nutritious.

Follow the sultry sound of my voice.

Mike: Psst, Fungus. Fungus, you like cars? Because I got a really nice car. You let me go, I'll give you... a ride... in the car. Fungus: I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.

Sulley: It doesn't have to be this way. Waternoose: I have no choice. Times have changed. Scaring isn't enough anymore. Sulley: But kidnapping children? Waternoose: I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die, and I'll silence anyone who gets in my way!

Waternoose: This has gone far enough, James. Sulley: She's home now. Just leave her alone! Waternoose: I can't do that, James. She's seen too much. You both have.

Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Do you hear that? It's the winds of change.

Sulley: I don't believe I ordered a wake-up call, Mikey. Mike: Hey, less talk, more pain, marshmallow boy!

Celia: What are you looking at? Mike: I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye on you, how pretty you looked.

Sulley: Something about a village. Are there any kids there? Yeti: Oh, sure. Tough kids, sissy kids, kids who climb on rocks...

Hey that's my bed, you're gonna get your germs all over it.

Mike: Look at the big jerk. He ruined my life, and for what? A stupid kid! Because of you, I am stuck in this frozen wasteland! Yeti: Wasteland? I think you mean "Wonderland"! I mean, how about all this fabulous snow, huh? Oh, and wait until you see the local village, cutest thing in the world. I haven't mentioned all the free yak's milk.

Roz, my tender, oozing blossom, you're looking fabulous today. Is that a new haircut? Come on, tell me it's a new haircut, isn't it? It's got to be a new haircut. New makeup? You had a lift? You had a tuck? You had something? Something has been inserted in in you that makes you look... Listen, I need a favor. Randall was working late last night out on the scare floor. I really need the key to the door he was using.

Aw, poor guy. I understand. It ain't easy being banished. Take my buddy Bigfoot. When he was banished, he fashioned an enormous diaper out of poison ivy. Wore it on his head like a tiara. Called himself "King Itchy".

I don't know, but it's been said, I love scaring kids in bed!

I love sports. Dodgeball was the best. I was the fastest one out there. Course, I was the ball. You see, I... was the ball.

[trying to make a kid laugh] You're in kindergarten, right? I used to love kindergarten. Best three years of my life.

I hope you're happy, Sullivan. You destroyed this company. Monsters Incorporated is dead! Where will everyone get their scream now? The energy crisis will only get worse, because of you!